


Jiggery Pokery

by Alexis_Rockford



Series: Fictober 2018: 31 Fandoms in 31 Days [1]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: AO3 FACEBOOK CHALLENGE, AO3 FB Challenge, AO3 Writers Facebook Group, AO3 Writers Facebook Group Monthly Challenge, Broken TARDIS, Fictober, Fluff, Gen, Innuendo, One Shot, Post-Episode: s01e10 The Doctor Dances, Random & Short, Sonic Screwdriver, Tickling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-07-12 07:36:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15990635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alexis_Rockford/pseuds/Alexis_Rockford
Summary: Jack wakes up on the TARDIS with no memory of the previous evening.This ficlet was written in response to the Fictober prompt for October 1, 2018: Technical terms





	Jiggery Pokery

When Capt. Jack Harkness awoke, he had no idea where he was. This was not an unusual position for him to find himself in. Waking up in a strange bed had sometimes been a daily occurrence for him. But typically, there was someone lying in the bed next to him; a person who, once seen, would jog his memory about what had transpired the previous evening and where he was. This time, he was alone. He frowned as he dragged himself into a sitting position. Looking down, he noticed that he was still wearing his street clothes, sans his heavy navy-blue overcoat which lay haphazardly across a nearby chair. This was also very odd. He threw off the covers and stumbled to the door, musing that he must have had far too much to drink last night. Either that, or he’d had a chunk of his memory stolen once again. He desperately hoped it was the former.

When he reached the corridor, he immediately froze. The hallway was the longest one he had ever seen, stretching as far as the eye could see. He blinked the sleep out of his eyes and tried to get his bearings. He was about to give up and crawl back into bed when he heard the tinkle of female laughter coming from a nearby room. Intrigued, he followed the sound a few doors to his left and entered.

A dark-haired man and a blonde woman were standing next to what appeared to be some sort of control console. The man was pulling various levers and switches, causing various electronic sounds to emanate from some sort of engine that was pumping up and down. Suddenly, the noises ceased, and the motor ground to a halt with an ear-shattering screech.

“What is it this time, old girl?” the man coaxed, stroking the control panel in front of him soothingly. The girl put her hands on her hips and surveyed the proceedings with interest.

“Good morning?” Jack called out hesitantly. His memories were slowly beginning to return. He could have sworn that business with the London Blitz had been a dream, but apparently not. The two people he had shared the adventure with were standing there larger than life.

The girl spun around immediately. “Hullo, Jack!” she called, dashing over to him. “Good morning!”

“Hey, Rose,” he said, turning on all the charm he could muster. “Do you honestly wake up looking that gorgeous? That really isn’t fair.”

Rose grinned and punched him lightly in the arm. “I’ve been up for a couple hours already, you prat,” she admitted. “But do go on. Flattery will get you everywhere.”

The man at the console harrumphed and muttered something about “Bloody stupid apes.”

“Good morning to you, too, Doctor,” Jack said pointedly, but the Doctor merely grunted in reply. “Somebody needs their morning cuppa,” chided Jack fondly.

The Doctor ignored him and reached into the pocket of his leather jacket for his Sonic. He began to wave the instrument over the panel. The electronic whirring it produced irritated Jack, but he tried his best to tune it out and turned back to his lovely companion.

“Is that his answer to everything?” Jack whispered to Rose, lifting an eyebrow in amusement. “Just whip out the screwdriver?”

“Pretty much,” she confirmed, biting her lip to avoid a giggle. “He even told me once that he came in first in his class.”

“In what?” Jack quipped, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Screwing?”

“Nah.” Rose shook her head, and her hair swished attractively down her back. “Jiggery pokery.”

Jack guffawed loudly, and Rose made a shushing gesture with both of her hands. The Doctor glared at them. “Would you care to share, Captain?”

Jack eyes darted to the floor as though he had been caught misbehaving by an actual school teacher. “I’d rather not,” he mumbled. Rose stifled a titter as well.

The Doctor rolled his eyes. “Fantastic,” he muttered and returned to his tinkering.

“Jiggery pokery?” repeated Jack. “And he has a thing for bananas, too? I think I’m in love.”

“It’s a technical term,” Rose explained, making air quotes with her fingers.

“Mm hmm,” Jack said. He crossed his arms and leaned against a wall.

“I can hear you, you know.” The Doctor refused to even give them the satisfaction of facing them. Instead, he continued to fiddle with dials and buttons like a madman. “And I thought you found my colloquialisms endearing, Rose Tyler.”

“Aw, don’t be that way, Doctor,” she purred, coming up behind him. “You know how I feel about you.”

He set down his screwdriver and looked her straight in the eye. “Do I?”

Jack could have chosen this moment to allow Rose to express her emotions, but his jealous and competitive nature got the better of him. While they were busy looking into each other’s eyes, he sneaked up on the Doctor and poked him gently in the ribs.

“Oi!” cried the Doctor. “Stop that, I’m ticklish.”

Rose’s eyebrows shot straight up. “Are you now?”

The Doctor shook his head vehemently. “Don’t even think about it.”

Jack and Rose exchanged knowing glances. Before the Doctor knew what hit him, the two of them had their hands all over him, crawling them over his chest and back like spiders.

The Doctor tried to keep a straight face, but it was no use. “Bah ha ha ha!” he sputtered, and the two conspirators shared congratulatory grins as they continued to move their fingertips along the sensitive nerves of his skin. Before long, the three of them were laughing so hard that they collapsed against the central column, breathing heavily. All of the unaccustomed weight seemed to jolt the engine back to life and the TARDIS began vworping as cheerily as it ever had before.

“You’re welcome, Doc,” panted Jack, wiping the tears from his eyes.

“You understand,” began the Doctor seriously, “none of what just conspired here can ever leave these four walls.”

Jack swallowed his glee. “Of course not,” he agreed with a wink at Rose.

“Nothing to tell,” Rose insisted with a shrug. “Just a little jiggery pokery.” She looked at Jack and they burst into giggles all over again.

“Apes,” sighed the Doctor affectionately.


End file.
